Why am I surprised that I feel so differently? I went away for five months, and then I am torn up when I find that I am not able to return and settle into the exact same place I used to fill. I don’t want to go back to filling that old place, but I don’t know what the new one looks like.
Credits. Practicum. Majors.
Is it because I would have wanted something “concrete”?
Trusting that I am not a lunatic.
A place where I am a failure if I do not have you to follow. A place where I would seem to be a fool, but trust that I am not because of a vision that has been instilled by your spirit. A place where I sometimes appear to myself as a loser would it not be for the place I know you are taking me.
Because when I was looking them in the eyes, I was starring directly into your face. It was too much to handle. I wanted to keep looking, but I had to place my gaze elsewhere, because I didn’t want to have to tell them why I was crying.
So this is why I am completely content with you. Because I know this is life, and life to the fullest. Trusting in your sovereignty, and your ability to take me where do not know how to go. This is the life I want. This is the faith I am learning to have.
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2 comments:
I wanted to keep looking, but I had to place my gaze elsewhere, because I didn’t want to have to tell them why I was crying.
i love this.
"Trusting that I am not a lunatic."
I love this line Tim.
Somedays I just feel crazy.
It would be a tremendous song lyric imo.
p.s. - this is schepman.
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