this is my attempt to kiss your feet.

new location

2009-08-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

i'm considering switching the primary location of this blog to:

www.timothydyk.wordpress.com.

younger eyes

2009-08-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

rows of green trees.
sunny and clean,
sea-scented,
air.

my innocence was ignorance -
clothes that needed changing.
now that i've strained to see,
i don't know that the setting sun
can ever be the same.

not that it was
lacking purity;
rather,
slightly ill-informed.
young eyes,
actors in a dress rehearsal.

waiting for the future
patience must be optimistic
because the good that was present
might surely have been
the very good that is knocking at the door.

rows of green trees,
please don't suck away
sunny and clean,
sea-scented
air.

11:14 PM

2009-06-17T23:14:00.000-07:00

and how can it be
that the seasons with waters smooth
are where i'm finding it
hardest to sail?

peace vs. comfort

2009-06-09T10:29:00.001-07:00

Dear Lord,

a spirit at peace;
a stomach in knots.
may You put this mind to rest,
and give ease its thoughts.

a short prayer

2009-04-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

Spirit, beckon me,
when my body feels to weigh me down.

in april

2009-04-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

I know You are present
I just don't necessarily feel it.

Why must our minds try to confine You to a space so small?
Heart overflowing
and hands so large.

... surely we can learn what it is to function,
when following can't be derived from a feeling.

stockholm to københavn

2009-03-18T03:31:00.000-07:00

how is the sky allowed to be this blue?
train tracks run far
and the gradient is rich
the sunshine to my back
would easily blind me
if I were to approach it more directly.

trees
white and green
hold the saturation
of something too grandiose for our minds to retain.

full pockets

2009-03-12T01:19:00.000-07:00

i've been carrying a lot in my pockets these days. it's not uncommon for the entirety of the pocket space of my levi's to be entirely occupied. no vacancies.

i keep things around, because you never know when they might come in handy. but what does it mean of something when you no longer need to have it immediately present? of what consequence is an object when it's ok to leave it back home, perhaps on a table, or a shelf?

you're three.

2009-03-12T01:15:00.000-07:00

Loving Father.
Humble King.
Everlasting Spirit.

Won't You grace us with Your Spirit (of truth) to make our hearts content,
when all we have is faith and trusting.

for stockholm

2009-02-23T08:32:00.000-08:00

You’re a city
and I’m looking at you -
finding you beautiful.

But it must be said,
you’re a city,
not a human being.
And that is why we can never be.

Sometimes it’s difficult to forsee
the consequences of patience.
But dear Stockholm,
you’re showing me how to wait.

snow is cold, friendship is warm

2009-02-07T07:02:00.000-08:00

sometimes i wonder what sort of heart i am building.

new places, new people
getting to a place of near understanding
only to leave.
any sort of community that could have been -
covered with a blanket of snow
on to something new.

... snow is good,
but it is also cold.

it's not that there's anything to run from
yet a schedule tells me it's time to go.
i don't know how much more i can handle.
yet somehow
new places will arrive
and we will find ourselves welcomed;
people become friends.

...finding friendship can be a challenge,
but once found it is warm.

Dear Lord, might you bring some insulation from this biting cold?

5:17 PM

2009-02-02T13:56:00.000-08:00

O, for someone just to take me, saying,
"Here, I understand you!
Don't worry about explaining yourself
or what you are doing.
I know where you're at."

and it's true
You are already present
patiently adjacent, uttering words
i haven't yet paused to hear.

if i could only stop
long enough to hear You singing over me,
surely i would find
priorities changing.

...i just need a bit of help to begin.

KEF-CPH-FAE

2009-01-23T03:15:00.000-08:00

i'm crossing oceans and oceans and oceans and airwaves with You.

...and i'm learning more about what i don't need.

aqui.

2009-01-17T01:05:00.001-08:00

here.
this is where I'll be
when you're found pulling yourself apart.

questioning abandonment
"no no no, I am very much with you."

tomorrow is a good hope to have,
but today is also right here.
find Me where I am.
here.

going home

2008-12-18T11:17:00.000-08:00

HA 0167
HA 0028

i'll soon be reaching a snowy seattle.

are these multiple duffels necessary,
or is it all just extra baggage?

peace out kona,
and a mele kalikimaka to you.

procrastinating nearness

2008-12-04T00:58:00.000-08:00

do i chose to find You now,
or am i just waiting
for later?
two weeks lingering
i don't know if i've made this all that it could have been.
above
constellations continue on;
while below,
i think there's so much to be done.
don't let me pass beauty by-
because something that is very ripe
could easily become rotten.

"i feel close to You here."
"just remember
that this is where I am
your whole day through."

surely now is the place You can be found.

flat water + flash floods (?)

2008-11-22T13:43:00.000-08:00

i am so prone to forgetting what is good.

embedded
in the code
of something extremely repetitive.
copied and pasted
(control+c,
control+v)
my in-attentions are many.

and i begin to think
that's all there is,
unacquainted with
that for which i was initially
implemented.

forgive me Lord,
because i don't know what is good,
and am most often not aware
of what my heart really requires.

---

don't mind the drops
out of grey,
they're reminding me of home.

tall spiders

2008-11-15T19:09:00.000-08:00

Beginning to climb
We hesitated when we saw
Tall spiders
Rain
Uneven terrain
Driving on we found
We'd have to leave our automobiles.

Continuing by foot
In the country of arachnids
Arriving at a summit
Would they have eaten us
Or would they be warmed
By our amiable demeanor?

on interaction in an increasingly globalized age

2008-11-15T19:03:00.000-08:00

Exchanges of words are valuable;
It just seems slightly off when at least 50% of your relations are carried out digitally.
But personal interaction is an expensive commodity.
When it is afforded,
It's no surprise I'm left feeling warm.

questions on capitalism; vog induced raindrops

2008-10-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

i knew i would have to know You as the God who made existence possible.

a cluttered mind is nowhere to delve, if clarity is what you're looking for. often, peace is in the morning, before the world wakes up. a neon-blue sky filled with early morning stars makes for a peaceful gathering. if not the morning, a young night sky is equally useful.

life takes time to process, and when you don't take the time to process, things get a little backed up, like an email inbox. slowly you begin to answer back.

i can't say i'm surprised; but in any case, life requires adjustment. i will therefore follow suit.

assertion, however, is a challenge.

lost exposures (charge your batteries)

2008-10-03T10:26:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the tall grass, and I felt bad, because I didn't know that I had anything to give You. You provided a starry host, I provided a confused and muted heart; nonetheless i was impressed by your handiwork.

For some reason or another, I was under the impression that I have to give something to make the time worth it for You.

But You just wanted me to sit with you. To look at something that is on display but not often viewed. Not to go somewhere. Not to "do something exciting."

It affects my relationship with You, it affects my relationship with others - the need to feel that I have something to offer.

I value that You want to sit with me, even if the most exciting thing I do all day is read a book or rummage through large batches of digital photography.

-

hush, hush, why do you have to say anything?

find my words, and know that they're Yours

2008-09-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

i'll cover my eyes
until i see that i'm ok
because i am

a strange new dwelling
i could only stare intently
into a thick layer of cloud cover

sleeping took learning

Your active ears
make for a calm heart
somehow peace, well-being, is here

continue to find me,
even if i may absent-mindedly walk away

a new lamp is a warm friend

2008-09-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

inside felt cold, however the yellow light that has newly been incorporated into the living space was quick to warm me up, at least partially.

sometimes it is easy to feel left behind. (no, i don't mean this in the sense of the best seller "Christian" fictional series.[which unfortunately i read entirely as a middle schooler]) i need You to give security, even to be it for me.

i just needed some space, but that same space that i desired left me feeling awkward. sometimes it feels as though circumstances don't fit, but instead cling to you like an ill-fitting cardigan.

my ears feel empty. but i'm patient, really i am.

embarking upon the high seas

2008-09-12T11:15:00.000-07:00

dried out and wrinkled
maybe the times when we are worn
are the times when You can most function.

a new weather system is rolling in
currents are changing
a gale is a brewing
ropes
hold me fast to what is solid.

Your wind-chapped hands
know exactly where to guide
this ship
and set it's sails.

committed you are to your purposes

2008-09-05T11:28:00.000-07:00

circumstances are
wobbly
help me to revert back to
stability
that is found
when you speak

i purposed
from the beginning
to follow through
You have shown me Your
faithfulness
thus far
further?

show me what is real
then I will know
think
ponder on
the ultimate certainty
I know You to
be

my insides waste away
multiplied
decentralized burdens.
may you lead me away from
that which is fake
put on
self-fabricated

teach me obedience
holding hands
with grace

i knew i could only walk
this way
with You at my side
i believe in
noises that come
from Your mouth

i cling
to what You have already
worked out

don't turn
Your face from me now
i'll certainly
crumble

my feet will continue
to exert their energies
only because
You will increase
the capacity of
ventricles
atriums
capillaries

anywhere but there

2008-08-29T11:29:00.000-07:00

and for the next five days, they'll be found in wranglers, boots, and cowboy hats, or some combination of the three. Even though the other 360 days of the year they are found in anything but these. I don't miss the riff-raff - un-local yay-hoo's taking over a beautiful valley as if she were their own, a passing summer fling. Many of them won't even call back after the weekend is over.

For the rest of the year, I'm happy to call Ellensburg my own, but for this Labor Day weekend, I am happy to be anywhere but the 25 mile radius that surrounds her. It hurts me to know that my little princess of a town will have to endure the abuse of this weekend.

NW221, etc.

2008-08-21T11:19:00.000-07:00

We stood surrounded by trees, and the Lord was there, along with the warm yellow light. I was surprised by a moment that was beautiful.

---

Rumor has it you're required to check into a flight at least 30 minutes prior to departure. I never thought this would be an issue - until sunday I was trying to check in 31 minutes prior to departure, and was cut of half way though check in, when the computer's clock changed to 30 minutes. Suprisingly, NWA sticks to their guns. I certainly didn't fly back to Kona on Sunday.

Monday brought success as far as boarding aircraft goes. I certainly had to fly through SFO and HON, being delayed by a few hours at each leg of the journey. I don't know that I've ever felt so far away from Kona. Eventually I arrived, and am now sitting to you typing from area code 96740: Kailua-Kona.

But am I steadfast, or will I just resort to complaining when life becomes a hassle? When original callings become tried, are they something I will continue to tie myself to? I don't know that it would be worth it if it were something completely easy. Life, at many points, will require sacrifice. Sometimes time spent with family. Sometimes a preferred climate. Sometimes ambient lighting. I'm trusting though, that these things, entrusted to him, will become what they need to be.

really, this was written two days ago.

2008-08-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Originally Recorded at 11:56 AM, Honolulu Time, August 12, 2008.

Flying anywhere in Hawaii, you automatically feel like a tourist. Even if you aren’t wearing a flowered shirt, black socks, a fanny pack, or a staw hat. If you’re in the airport, you can’t help but feel like an obnoxious outsider. I’m in the airport now.

I’m out of the vog, but it’s still hard to know where I’m going. Life is changes. Home I would normally see as familiar, but this time it will involve even more changes. Not that changes are bad, I just have to learn to live in light of them. Lord knows I need to be kept from becoming too settled.

Commitment. An example will soon be seen. Already, I see that this is something that cannot help but be related to so many things outside wedding dresses and rings and honeymoons. Surely it applies to these. But surely it must also relate to our relationships (friendships or “serious”), projects, long-term vision, and ultimately our involvement with the One who is much greater.

Distance and time zones quite often seem to stand in the way. However, they exist, and I therefore must learn to function in their reality. I’m noticing a common thread.

Is it morning, or is it night? I would answer both.

endurance vs. withering (like grass)

2008-08-03T14:38:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it will look like, and I don't know what it will say, but I'm willing to move forward. The struggle as of late: application of an often times obscure faith to a world with concrete needs. Wanting to say something real that will be more than just a stream of words, stylistically laid out, sans serif, with strong images. We can know so much while still remaining unaware of practical solutions. When we move towards Your heart we move towards these. The pieces fit, there are just so many of them to sort through.

So I carry a bible, and a newspaper. I'm sure they go together in some way or another.

I don’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I’m feeling. And in this it’s become apparent that I run rather dry, and You stand rather strong. There is so much about You to dwell on, even when I don't feel right. I’m trying to trust You when You say the approval is here.

a long citation, including, but not limited to the b-word.

2008-07-25T11:08:00.000-07:00

{Thus in (Psalm) 36, "My heart showeth me the wickedness of the ungodly," each can reflect that his own heart is the specimen of that wickedness best known to him. After that, the upward plunge at verse 5 into the mercy high as heaven and the righteousness solid as the mountains takes on even more force and beauty. From this point of view I can use even the horrible passage in (Psalm) 137 about dashing the Babylonian babies against the stones. I know things in the inner world which are like babies; the infantile beginnings of small indulgences, small resentments, which may one day become dipsomania or settled hatred, but which woo us and wheedle us with special pleadings and seem so tiny, so helpless that in resisting them we feel we are being cruel to animals. They begin whimpering to us "I don't ask much, but", or "I had at least hoped", or "you owe yourself some consideration". Against all such pretty infants (the dears have such winning ways) the advice of the Psalm is the best. Knock the little bastards' brains out. And "blessed" he who can, for it's easier said than done.}

C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms, p. 136

This is certainly one of the most brilliant inductive interpretations I've heard in a long time. Thanks Clive.

Life lately is scattered. The daily schedule includes, but is not limited to morning yogurt-eating, class time, recycling, reverse watermelon-ing into small swimming pools, and quite often a lot of meetings and brainstorming. It's cool, but it's hard to know where this is all going. I'm having to trust that nothing You do is without Your purposes, or Your direction for that matter. Even when everything can seem so un-directed.

You want me in places where I can see your abilities and mine own disabilities. Not as grounds for showing me how weak I am (though this is accomplished); moreso I think as grounds for showing me how capable you are. It's going to be unbelievable to see what your hands can produce, if only I will let you grab them and put them to the work for which you have intended them.

We can try to be so professional.

the dight is always narkest...

2008-07-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

If I'm planted where You live, I'll flourish in Your living room.

fresh: full of sap, lit. fat

flourishing: green

More and more I see that your presence is one that musn't be confined to one room or a single session of song-singing. Really, where doesn't your presence exist? Where shouldn't we be caught up in the understanding and depth that is found in Your affections? How quietly unaware of You we can be. Make us ones who are living with open eyes.

Why shouldn't we find you in best-selling literature? Do you cry when we confine ourselves away from that which would challenge our "knowledge" of You? Really, what couldn't You use to reveal Yourself? So, when we cast off certain items as an offense to our understandings, are we therefore casting ourselves away from the understanding we would develop of You in those areas? I'm believing You have overwhelming depth of insight to speak to individuals today, even through things that aren't sold in Christian bookstores.

And in my own life, you have given me the ability to speak, to say something, anything. Am I saying it? It's time something authentic, and I thank You that I don't have to wait for it to come from contemporary circles or pop culture.

---

Batman is surely now slaying the masses at the box office. Unfortunately, I will most likely be a part of contributing to its large profit margin. From what I've seen, I'm thinking it may be more about giving America hope in the midst of economic downfall than it is about a man who looks adorns a bat costume while saving the people of Gotham city.

I'm feeling as though my assets are scattered.

Dear Washington, I shall behold you once more.

2008-06-26T03:52:00.000-07:00

Soon I shall find myself descending (in some dimensions I would prefer to say ascending) into your stately pines, blue water, clean air, and bustling traffic. The tropics can be enjoyable, but in all honesty, I do prefer the forest, mountains, and snow that falls in the winter.

My communication will no longer be typed characters displayed as pixels on electronic monitors. How I will handle this transition I am not entirely sure. Sometimes I feel it's easier to type, less easy to speak with creative diction in proper syntax (at least in any agreeable amount of time.) With audible conversation, you don't hear green, squiggly, lines informing you of improper semi-colon use; with speech, I find myself mumbling, drowning in words, usually saying something I don't mean to say. I like Micrososft word because you can drag sentences exactly where you know they need to be. I need practice in socialization.

And here it comes.

---

I'll spend 15.83 at Starbucks IF it is an airplane company that is footing the bill.

who?

2008-06-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

those who wait for You
those who seek You
stranger
alien
drunkards
the humble
the poor
prisoners
servants

These are who You came for. Help me not to be so prideful that I cannot see myself in one, if not many, of these. Thank You for coming for those who need/needed/will-need You. It's not something we would automatically look for.

in charlotte, mugsy bogues is nowhere to be found

2008-05-29T04:01:00.000-07:00

Bed Schedule of the last week:

Thursday, May
Friday, May 23: Hotel Room in Douz, Tunisia. Woke up sweating, stood up, went back to sleep.
Saturday, May 24: Bed in Sousse, Tunisia.
Sunday, May 25: A few hours on the cold tile in the Madrid airport didn't prove to allow for much slumber, but it got us home to Torremolinos.
Monday, May 26: Bunkbed in Torremolinos, Spain.
Tuesday, May 27: Bunkbed in Amsterdam Base. Ate noodle, stocked up on salt licorice.
Wednesday, May 28: Ground of Charlotte airport. Though awakened every two hours by the loudspeaker recording, slept remarkably well.

Projected for Thursday, May 29: somewhere in San Jose, Costa Rica

And now it's breakfast time with brotherbear.

invisible tasting cheese coupled with cracker bread makes for a filling treat.

2008-05-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

In my estimation, I've eaten upwards of 20 pieces of cracker bread today.

On Thursday I purchased a block of cheese. It didn't taste very well, but I figured it was valuable protein, so I decided I would make use of it. Before lunch today, I had 50% of the block of cheese left to eat. After lunch today, I had zero percent left to eat. This was eaten with nearly ten pieces of cracker bread, mostly to mask the taste of the neutrally-flavoured cheese. If I had to describe the taste, I would probably describe it as invisible.

Tonight for dinner I consumed some Ramen, though it wasn't name brand Ramen. I had some more cracker bread left, so I decided to finish them off. Fairly certain over ten pieces disappeared into my tummy-box.

Tonight I'm going to sleep/wait/knit/write/read/eat muesli in the Charles De Gaulle airport. I will have sufficient energy to do this because I have consumed so much cracker bread.

seagulls in a crepe fight.

2008-04-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

There's a homeless man. Roaming the streets of Amsterdam. Stoned out of his mind. He walks around wearing wooden shoes, playing a classical guitar for the many tourists that come through the flourescently-lit area. In this case the tourists were Spanish-speaking. But he fails to feel acknowledged. As I walk away the last thing I hear him mutter is, "I can speak seven languages and it doesn't even matter."

We speak languages: We do ministry. We sing songs. We intercede. We learn. We travel. But what good is this if nothing is expressed in love? With love we can speak in a language of significance, a language that will translate a mind that is clouded with herb and the other fogginess that other forms of emptiness may bring about. This is a language I want to learn.

I thank you LORD that You are a rock when much else seems to have de-evolved into a gelatin-like consistency. Your faithfulness sets this servant to dance.

gears, cogs, and the cereal that lies on my floor

2008-04-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

I'm realizing that everywhere I look is through something you have made. I can't look in any direction without staring through the expanses of your quite unconventional palate. Just as the clouds you've formed are something moldable and fluffy, the paths of which are unpredictable to my will yet ever being predicted by yours - so too I ask you would make me.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Do not be like the horse or like the mule, Which have no understanding, Which must be harnessed with bit and bridle...(Psalm 32: 8-9, NKJV)

It often struggle to take steps when my vision seems ever obscured by some sort of un-seeable blindfold.

I will trust, believe, go, walk, etcetera, but save me from turning it into something mechanical.

stolengoods

2008-02-10T06:43:00.000-08:00

It's a bummer when your backpack is stolen from your rental car.

It's a bummer to have a laptop and other expensive electronics in that backpack, but it is also a bummer to be without the practical ammenities such as underpants, a couple t-shirts for the week, and chargers that can no longer be used to charge the electronics that are still left in your posession, amongst other things.

But life is still good. I see that these things can't take away from where I stand with the Lord, and that is in life. Pray that the one's who absconded with these things may also come to the realization of this life (perhaps reading through the journals or bibles they'll see something that catches their eye?) And then maybe they could then drop off the backpacks and objects within to an obvious location where those objects can then be transported to the fuzz, and in turn moi, Sung Ha, and Christina.

And to you, State Farm Insurance, please accept the claim on these stolen goods.

theothersideofthewall.

2008-02-03T07:38:00.000-08:00

These are some arts from the West Bank side of the Security Barrier between Israel and the West Bank. I can't say I agree with all of the staunch, polemical (this is a new word I've just learned) messages behind these pieces; however, I like the style, and I like that most of them say something. It challenges me.

A couple of these are the more famous Banksy pieces he's done in Bethlehem fairly recently, i.e. bulletproof vest on bird, scissor cut-out, and children on the beach.

oooooh, Bonus!

2008-02-03T06:09:00.000-08:00

some suprises you may not find elsewheres:

for those who find their blankets soggy:

2008-01-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

Now I’m going to say thank you. Because you continue to be good regardless of how I feel.Though my circumstances may not be the best, I can find life in your words.
Your truth exceeds all information and databases. Your roots of knowledge go infinitely deeper than the wisdom of any man. You’ve blessed me with a mind,the next step involves learning how to make use of it.

A vent for the water on the ceiling,
A window in the midst of a moldy wall.
A lung full of second-hand carcinogens,
A wellspring of fresh air.
Your words applied then and your words apply now.

Life has called us his own, when we were holding hands with the grave. If we would be vulnerable to our new life - love, surely the globe would find itself smitten, holding the hand of a kind-hearted and sensible lover.

wohwoalsk¿who?dhfkj

2008-01-12T08:25:00.000-08:00

Central Mosque; Selcuk, Turkey

earlymorningathens

2008-01-04T06:05:00.001-08:00

Depart Sofia, BG: Sunday, December 30, 2007, 17:00
Arrive Athens, GR: Monday,December 31, 2007, 04:30

openyourhandwide

2008-01-03T12:30:00.000-08:00

This was a project I worked on with Scott and Sarah Jo while we were in Turkey. While we were learning about design, we worked on making mini magazines. For these, we had to find and issue of injustice in the world, and show what the bible has to say about that specific issue of injustice. We were divided into groups of three, and after praying, our group felt that we should make a small book about poverty. It is obviously a very broad and often times complex issue, but we attempted to display God’s heart for this in as simple a way as possible. There are surely a lot of statistics out there on the state of poverty in our world, but we wanted to focus more on God’s heart that longs to care for the poor (physically or spiritually), and display in in a visually appealing way.

War and Peace: Completed.

2007-11-13T04:15:00.001-08:00

War and Peace: Completed.

I have officially completed the novel that is War and Peace, though I must add, with a very surface level understanding. They say it is one of the greatest novels every written, and I must agree with this, as it would have taken a literary genie to develop all the characters, plots, sub-plots, and even intertwine them with one another on such an intricate level. Kudos to you Leo Tolstoy.

I did enjoy the way that Tolstoy portrayed the actions of history not to be controlled by military men of genius (Tolstoy argues that there exist no such genius’), but by something much larger than simply a single man. I think he builds a strong point (though not necessarily intentionally) for the influence of a sovereign God on the course of history, though I am pretty certain this is not the view he chooses to accept.

I was a bit disappointed this afternoon, as I found myself drowning in Tolstoy’s debate between the relationship between free will and necessity in the last portion of the book. I’m pretty sure I am in no position to comment on this last segment, but I can at least say I tried to comprehend what I could. Maybe I’ll understand when I’m older.

The book itself has done quite a bit of traveling to get to this point. It has been to Kenya, Mozambique, Hawaii, Washington, South Africa, Greece, and multiple aeroplanes in between. Just last month, I saw it necessary to perform surgery on it, as is shown in the picture (it was originally purchased in a single volume). One box of cornflakes and a few slices of duct tape later, I had two much more manageable books.

I’ll leave you with an excerpt:

Now he had learnt to see the great, the eternal, and the infinite in everything; and naturally therefore, in order to see it, to revel in its contemplation, he flung aside the telescope through which he had hitherto been gazing over men’s heads, and looked joyfully at the ever-changing, ever grand, unfathomable, and infinite life around him. And the closer he looked at it, the calmer and happier he was. The terrible question that had shattered all his intellectual edifices in old days, the question: What for? had no existence for him now. To that question, What for? he had now always ready in his soul the simple answer: Because there is a God, that God without whom not one hair of a man’s head falls (p. 1258).

Amongst other things, there exists a cornucopia of stray dogs here in Porto Rafti. It is not uncommon to hear of people going out to town, followed by 19 stray dogs. I often find it a bit unsettling, not knowing the life stories and backgrounds of these pups, but I guess they’re interesting to have around.

Now I'll be moving on to Les Miserables, when I have the time.

feed my sheep

2007-10-08T13:51:00.000-07:00

Today I met Doreen and Charles. They live in a park. They are strollers.

They taught me something about generosity. They have so little. But they still found a way to give, even of the little that they had.

We sat in the grass, along with the pigeons. They were sitting on some pieces of cardboard, the piece beneath Charles read, “THERE’S AN EARRING IN MY SOUP.” As Charles consumed his roll, he chased it with a swig of milk that ended up messily residing at the corners of his lips. Doreen was slow to eat her Yellow Corn Roll, as she lacked teeth to speed up the process.

She says they are strollers. She says they aren’t homeless, and they aren’t beggars; they just stroll around from place to place. Every Sunday they wash windows and clean gardens for 100 Rand.

100 Rand is less than 15 dollars.

About half way through her roll, I noticed her breaking off small pieces, tossing them to the seemingly ubiquitous birds. She feels that God wants her to give to the birds. The birds can’t speak up and say they’re hungry, so she feels that she must feed them. It’s the enjoyment in her day. And she did not just to break off small pieces from the small piece of bread we had given her, but she then pulled a couple more pieces of bread from her bag to give away. To the pigeons, and at one point a large female duck.

I would have liked to cry, but I did not want to feel weird.

So this is the picture of generosity I will keep in my mind; Doreen, with a weathered hand, reaching out, lending bread to a swarm of grey pigeons.

seattle to cape town, with some small-scale airport adventures in between

2007-09-27T12:27:00.001-07:00

I am now confident to say that the Japanese are masters of speed, efficiency, and kindness, amongst other things. Never have I found the airport personel to be so amiable and helpful. Kudos to you Japan.

Arriving in Singapore, I felt as if I had arrived in Florida. I had not, I was still in Singapore, it just felt like Florida. Maybe they buy their carpet from the same people.

Arriving in Johannesburg, we met James and Moses. In America they would have appeared to be wearing prison jumpsuits. In the Johannesburg airport however, orange jumpsuits identify the helpers/cartmen/people-who-take-your-cart-from-you-by-force-and-push-it. Usually this would have proved to be an annoyance, however, we soon found that they knew how to find their ways around hundreds of people - helpful when you flight leaves in less than an hour. They asked for some handsome tips, but I figure this is cheaper than the ticket I would have had to buy had I missed my flight…which most definitely would have been the case.

So I’m now in Cape Town. Africa? A very interesting brand of Africa I would say. It kind of seems like a European version of Africa. This I like. Maybe I shall get to explore sometime soon.

Oh, and I now live with three Korean gentlemen. I should be picking up some new vocabulary.

here's to you ellensburg. I love you and will hold you warmly in my heart.

2007-09-24T01:09:00.000-07:00

So I'm leaving.

It is weird to say goodbye. I won't miss the smell of mothballs that we use to fend off the intruding skunks from beneath our home, but I will miss the mother and father who are now slumbering, and the brother whom I hug with fervor...not to mention the furry animals that run to and fro in the wee hours of the morning. If this is nostalgia, I do request your forgiveness.

It's weird saying goodbye to people for nine-months-but-more-like-a-year-and-a-half. Could it be possible that I would have the beginnings of facial hair by the time I return...most likely not. Could it be possible that my views on the world have changed completely? This I think is more likely.

I don't know what's going to happen, but this, I think, is good. Could it be possible that he, the LORD, would give me my expectations? Yes. I do think so.

I like long rides in airplanes. I like the small cups of coffee and not knowing what time of day it is. I like asking for multiple meals (for this one I have found the African Airlines to be most generous).

So I will miss the trees on ninth street this fall. I won't be riding my bicycle through the leaves. Others will in my place, but I don't know if this is any consolation.

I have sleepy eyes.

Maybe Monster Truck Madness is the best way to fare one well.

here, some new garmets with which to adorn yourself

2007-08-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

Romans 5:13-14, “…What a contrast between Adam and Christ, who was yet to come! And what a difference between our sin and God’s generous gift of forgivenenss.”

There are Zebras in Africa. I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to see any, but I know that they live there. As I was reading this verse from Romans, I began to think of zebras, because of their contrasting strips. I don’t know what would contrast more than black and white, and I find it interesting that God has built a picture of this contrast into creation.

The panel of yellow is to portray the heavenly clothes that God has waiting for those who place their faith in Jesus Christ. When someone with AIDS looks simply at their life in the world, there wouldn’t appear to be much hope. However, with an eternal perspective, there is an everlasting hope that can be held on to when they look to Jesus for hope. On top of the yellow I put one flow of purple. In the bible, purple seems to be a color of royalty.

1 Peter 2:9, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.”

Finally, the colors on the right are the colors of the stones that are to be in the wall of the New Jerusalem that will be in Heaven. This can be found in Revelation 21:18-20.

“The wall was made of jasper, and the city was pure gold, as clear as glass. The wall of the city was built on foundation stones inlaid with twelve gems: the first was jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst.”

polka dots, blood, snow, etc.

2007-08-11T23:56:00.000-07:00

There are polka dots on this painting. They are to show the black blots that are our sins.

But there is a part-two to this. The flows of red are intended to speak of the way in which Jesus’ blood washes and cleanses us of our imperfections, shortcomings, iniquities, etc. The flows of red turn into progressively cleaner shades of red, to show how God continues to author and perfect our faith through Jesus’ blood.

Then there is the white. Through the grace extended to us through Jesus Christ, where once we were dirty, we can now become white as snow.

Isaiah 1:18 says, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (New International Version)

The verse on the white is the answer to the verse from the first painting.

Habakkuk 2:3 reads, “But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”
(New Living Translation)

AIDS isn’t going disappear right away. It will take time, but I believe there is a time coming when God’s vision for the eradication of AIDS will be fulfilled.

Which leads to painting no. 3.

solutions of the world, or the great shortcomings that may follow:

2007-08-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

This painting has a couple ideas to it.

It was created to be coming from the standpoint of one who has been infected with HIV, questioning the sovereignty of God. The words, a verse from Habakkuk 1:12 ask,

“Is your plan in all of this to wipe us out? Surely Not!”

Many people who contract this disease are quite often stigmatized, hated, untouched, left to die alone, etc. Surely they would question and are questioning what God is doing in such a situation, and for good reason.

Another idea that is contained here is that of the solutions of the world, and how really, they are only masking a problem that requires a much more sovereign solution. With HIV and AIDS, the world has some solutions. Some sound halfway good. Some are a bit more far-fetched and unrealistic. Some say to solve AIDS by solving poverty. Some say to solve AIDS by promoting the use of condoms. Some say to solve AIDS through education. Though these may sound somewhat effective, but they are not without their errors. These solutions can only go so far in preventing the spread of such a disease. In all reality, they would only mask parts of a problem that is only continuing to worsen.

But don’t fret. There is hope.

These are the people I hold in my hands on a constant basis.

2007-08-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

While I was in Africa, God put an idea for a painting in my head, which is the first painting that I'll post. This idea for one painting then turned into more ideas, for more paintings.

In working with the issue of HIV and AIDS, I saw that God is wanting to do something in regards to this issue. And he is putting it on the hearts of his people to do something.

He has put it on my heart to portray the message of restoration that he longs so deeply to speak into the hearts of these people. People with HIV. People with AIDS. People that God loves just as much as he loves you; as much as he loves me.

There is a hope for HIV and AIDS in our world, and that hope is Jesus Christ. These paintings are meant to speak something of that.

But even more so, I'm thinking that these paintings also have a bit to say about the ways in which God has made a way for all of us, (with or without AIDS,) to come before his throne. To Run to him. To kiss his feet. To worship him. In this there is restoration, and in this there is life, of the eternal sort.

I would have wasted away long ago without such a hope.

Out of my element? Yes, I think so, but I'm in a place where that can be ok.

2007-07-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Things are wild lately. I see that in the next two to three months there is the potential for my life to become drastically different. Not that this is bad. I’m excited for whatever change may come; I just don’t know what form the change is going to take. I’m not sure that I even know what form I want it to take.

I can’t run away from the need I have to grow my faith.

I do believe, but help me not to doubt.

My heart has been full of ideas lately - ideas that excite my heart for the world. But I think they are things that require a spoonful of patience, to put things in Mary Poppins’ terms. Things that require me right now to do things like going to the registrar, where I could very likely be hornswaggled into some sort of University Code for Transcript Retrieval. Things that require me to scrape burnt cheese off of multiple white dishes. Things that require me to climb up wobbly ladders to uncomfortable heights. Things that are worth it for the sake of pursuing the oftentimes foggy but intriguing visions that he is drawing on my mind.

A Prolonged Return to the Beautiful, but Distant State that is Washington.

2007-06-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

Let's just say that the Midwest treated me as her friend. And by saying that the Midwest treated me as her friend, I mean to say that I follow an amazing God. A God that could grow a relationship that had continents and ocean and time in between.

Chicago is a fun place, but even more so is Berkeley. Though I often struggled with the high rate of yard-sport proficiency that appeared to be so engrained into the genes of many Midwesterners,

…

Berkeley is also the place where they make World Dryers, the things that dry your hands in many-a-public lavatories.

Dear Midwest, I hope you treat me kindly.

2007-06-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

So, just FYI, if you're ever in Seattle/Tacoma International Airport at 5 am, don't even worry about going to Starbucks, the line is the size of a large anaconda.

So I sit here at Tully's. Drip Coffee and a Scone.

I slept for about two hours last night, because I am a weirdo.

But soon I embark on a journey to Chicago. For some reason that requires a quick jaunt to Dallas. Why? Because I buy tickets on travelocity.

Ten Dollars, Presidential Debates...and "Possible" Genocide.

2007-06-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

As I was transporting dishes, from being cleaned, back to their homes, I was asked an interesting question:

Is Ten Dollars a lot of money to you?"

Confusingly stumbling over my words, I tried to explain that ten dollars was a fair amount of money. I wasn't really sure how to put it in the context of a lot or a little. I hate being wishy-washy.

10 i-tunes; A smidgin over an hour's wages

Then I remembered Mozambique. Ten Dollars goes a lot further there.

Enough water for 10 years; 260 pieces of bread; 40 pineapples

And I don't say this to convict any of you, because when I look at myself, I realize that I surely don't look at 10 dollars for what it is. I don't know if it is even fair to compare the two situations. In the very least, I hope I can look at this and remember what they go through on a regular basis.

They fish. They play with my used Fanta can. They eat rice everyday. They die from diseases of which they have no solid understanding. They adhere to religions they don't care about. They dance. They sing. They hurt. They could buy water for less than ten cents a month, but cannot always afford it.

And I question the value of money.

//

I am currently planning a showing of Photographs from, and Art inspired by this most recent trip to Mozambique. I’ve set up a tentative date in my mind for Sunday, July 22nd, in the foyer of the church that is Ellensburg Christian and Missionary Alliance. I’ll make some announcements when this date is solidified.

Above: A slight flavor-taste of painting #1. This is just a small portion of the entire painting #1.

I plan on selling the photographs and paintings. I’ve never sold art. God has placed it on my heart to give a significant portion of any proceeds back to the Mozambicans. I’m in the process of finding a Christian Organization that is working with HIV and AIDS in Quelimane, the city where my team and I spent most of our time in Mozambique.

In the meantime, I need to find some synthetic fur to make some synthetic zebra stripes.

//

I watched some of the Presidential Debates tonight. I was intrigued.

I don’t know who makes the questions for these shows, but I was scared to see that whoever does make the questions still questions whether or not the Genocide in Darfur is really Genocide.

I’m comforted by the fact that the course of our country, the course of our world, is not in the hands of politicians or kings or rebellious/brainwashed militiamen, all of whom are just as much in need of grace as I; things are in God’s hands, and his hands are giant. Read Colossians 1. More precisely verse 16.

Let’s pray.

Black and White African Horsies.

2007-05-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Romans 5:14-15 reads, "...What a contrast between Adam and Christ, who was yet to come! 15 And what a difference between our sin and God's generous gift of forgiveness." (NLT)

This is turn causes me to think about zebras. And their stripes. I like the look of zebra stripes. Very fashionable, though I certainly don't condone the skinning of these beautiful aminals. Screen-printed zebra stripes are much more efficient. But beyond fashion, I really think there is something pretty about their stripes.

A message of salvation that our sovereign God has worked even into the nice little aminals that he created.

Yes, I meant to spell it aminals.

I don't say this to come across as someone who's trying to fend off evolution - I don't think that needs to be the issue. But rather, I see this as just another reason to be flabbergasted at God. Obviously he is infinitely complex, but to stylistically work his message - contrasting our black blot of sin with his gift that turns us white as snow through faith in Jesus Christ- into creation, is pretty neat, keen, fun, (insert nerdy adjective here).

We may see this working itself out in an untitled painting #3. More news on this later.

5:17 goes on to say, "The sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over us, but all who recieve God's wonderful, gracious gift of righteousness will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ." Quite astonishing when you recall that the author of this passage was a former Christian-Killer.

An inconsistant blogger...

2007-05-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

So I realize I would like to make blogging more of a priority. But I get confused, very confused.

But this is where I am. Pero aqui es donde estoy.

I want to love Jesus more. Even if I do love him some, I want to love him more. More than dollars. More than fancy electronic devices. More than a cup of coffee. More than paintbrushes. More than the life that I continue to find baffling a bit more every day.

The love, the abundance of love that has been poured out on me. This precious red liquid flowed out of his hands and now somehow rests, amongst other things, over Tim Dyk.

Lord teach me to live. But first, teach me to love. You.

An Orphan.

2007-04-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Physically, I am obviously not an orphan. Spiritually, I am nothing more than such a child without parents, without anyone for that matter.

But not an orphan without hope - I've been adopted. Would anyone else have been able to take me in? Maybe. But in you alone does this orphan find mercy.

So no, I am not the physically malnourished toddler whose parents have been stolen away by unnecessary political conflicts or an unruly pandemic. But in a different realm.

The day I was born, I was dumped in a field, and left to die, unwanted. But for some reason, as I was helplessly squirming around in my own blood, attractive by no standards whatsoever,

I caught your eye.

You told me to live.

I became worth something. Not because of any value I possessed, but worth something only because you wanted me.

I can't thank you enough for taking up a project such as I, not to mention following through with it.

strawberry yogurt and coffee do not settle a stomach.

2007-03-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

Why am I surprised that I feel so differently? I went away for five months, and then I am torn up when I find that I am not able to return and settle into the exact same place I used to fill. I don’t want to go back to filling that old place, but I don’t know what the new one looks like.

Credits. Practicum. Majors.

Is it because I would have wanted something “concrete”?

Trusting that I am not a lunatic.

A place where I am a failure if I do not have you to follow. A place where I would seem to be a fool, but trust that I am not because of a vision that has been instilled by your spirit. A place where I sometimes appear to myself as a loser would it not be for the place I know you are taking me.

Because when I was looking them in the eyes, I was starring directly into your face. It was too much to handle. I wanted to keep looking, but I had to place my gaze elsewhere, because I didn’t want to have to tell them why I was crying.

So this is why I am completely content with you. Because I know this is life, and life to the fullest. Trusting in your sovereignty, and your ability to take me where do not know how to go. This is the life I want. This is the faith I am learning to have.

To the Lord

2007-03-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

May I love you? Simply for who you are? May I grab hold of your hands, simply because you've stretched them out for me to hold? No, not for what may come from them or for what is coming from them. Not now. Just your God-manos.

You reach down, through the layers of clouds - Stratus and Cumulus, because Gina Bloodworth taught me that those are the only important ones - placing your big hands right in the middle of my neighborhood. They're a bit higher than I would think that I can reach, but when I get on the ends of my toes I find that I am able to have my hands envelloped by yours.

And there is nothing else, because there needs not be anything else. This is all you want, and this is all I want. The rest can be dealt with later.